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Beach walks with Dad
My father had a habit of collecting a bit of driftwood when he went for a walk on the beach. Later, he would write on it. Documenting the location, the date and sometimes, his companions. Over the years, they piled up and made a little beach on a shelf… and then after he died, a…
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Unkeeping for a friend
These were Lucy’s needles. She’s in her 90s now and unfortunately her macular degeneration has got to the point where she can’t see well enough to safely live alone anymore. She’s moving about 100 km away to a senior care place near where her daughter lives. My Mum and Lucy have been neighbours and friends…
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Bunnykins
Like so many kids growing up in the 20th century, I had a Bunnykins dish set. Unpacking after my last move, I felt compelled to assign the plate the role of spoon drip. I put it on my stove top and it’s been there for almost three years. The other night, I was at the…
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Final message
Do you have any on your phone? The last text or DM with someone who has since passed away? This one is to my friend Tom. We had dinner plans and I was texting him to chat about changing the day. But he was already in hospital. And died a few days later. I met…
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Do not wet
This Sunglow heating pad came to British Columbia with my Grandmother in 1995. The pad itself was purchased in Ontario from George W. Endress Co. Ltd. probably in the 1940s. Touching it, I imagine all the ways it provided relief to my ancestors. I never talked about menstruation with my Grandma. But I have many…
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Clip found
Mum cleaned out a drawer in her hutch and found this garter clip she says was Grandma’s. It could be sixty, even seventy, years old. One story about my Grandma that I particularly like is that she NEVER wore a bra. She wore slips. Mum says she tried to get her to wear one a…
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Unfriending the dead
Should I unfriend my ghosts on social media? I know a lot of dead people and increasingly, I come across their names and faces when I’m clicking about. It’s always a little jolt. The shape of a face, or even the way letters make up a name can evoke a memory wave of being near…
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For all ages
My parents often had a couple of parties over the Christmas season. Having games around that people could play was part of how they entertained. The games were for the kids, of course, but the adults would dip in. Labyrintspel is a tricky game. It beleaguered my patience no end. I couldn’t even get the…
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Flossing
After Dad died, I organized his stuff. When I cleaned out his bathroom I found the dental floss he was using when he died. It was pretty new. So, I kept it and used it up. I allowed myself to believe using the floss gave me a special connection to him that would help establish…
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Cannon
These iron model cannons are a thing in my dad’s family. My uncle has one, too. This one used to sit on the tile beside the gas fireplace in the living room of the house I grew up in. From this item I am learning preciousness can be a sort of loathing, even dread. It…
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Three times a charm
When my Mum’s mother was 99 years old she broke her hip. Although she was expected to make a good recovery, her doctor said her days of living alone in her two story Toronto duplex were over. Mum said to her, if you want to move out west, I’ll take care of you. I shake…
